All the writing gadgets you’ll never need

Here is a handy guide if you want to burn some money and/or give yourself a treat

Macbook

They’re only about 1000x more powerful than is needed for word processing, but they last and they’re pretty and did I mention they last? I was replacing my Windows stuff once every two years it was ridiculous.

A mini-fridge

For your alcohol healthy snacks and drinks. Sometimes when you’re in the zone, going all the way to the fridge downstairs is just too much to think about.

A VIVOFIT (or similar)
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The Vivofit is a big sassy-pants. It goes all red when you are inactive. You get one bar of red for an hour of inactivity, then four bars up to the two-hour mark. It doesn’t vibrate and annoy you, it just looks ugly as hell and reminds you to get off your butt once every few hours. Plus it is a pedometer, so you can pretend you’re healthy by hitting your step goals like three times a week.

Noise cancelling in-ear headphones

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I have some Bose QuietComfort 20i’s. These are BRILLIANT. I mean it. If you commute, as I do, then you will love them. They’re small, they don’t stick on your head and pinch your ears. If you can work and listen to music, then these are superb. The noise cancelling works great. But they’re even more impressive if you can’t listen to music and work, like me. You don’t have to plug them into anything, you just need to press the noise cancelling button and BAM! All those babies and drunken scoucers disappear and you can actually concentrate. It’s like buying portable silence.

Kindle Voyage

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I LOVE MY KINDLE!!!! This is the fanciest ereader on the market right now. It’s beautiful. It’s a great way to read your work on a different screen, great for commuting, and great for reading in size 1000 font like I like to do. I love the feature of emailing yourself the document and it magically appears on your device. (I think all kindles do this, actually, but the last ereader I owned was a £200+ Sony one from yonks ago, so the price was less than I expected to pay anyway. PLUS PRETTY)

A fancy-ass desk

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This is an essential, right? No? Well it sure is PRETTY

10,000 pens and notebooks

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Now this is essential. I’ve already covered the benefits of keeping your notes organised and in separate books. Also pens are beautiful and highlighters. Yes. I love allofthe stationary.

Laser printer

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Editing on hard-copy is very VERY handy. It tends to be the penultimate draft, for me, and my little HP printer is really cost effective and small.

Fancy keyboard and mouse

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Here is my review of my personal keyboard, the Kenesis Advantage. Let’s just say it saved my life. I’m not exaggerating much, either. IT SAVED MY LIFE. I also use a gamer mouse with it. (This is more because of photography editing reasons to be fair)

Extra magic trackpad

This is a complete extravagance, but have you ever spent all day scrolling through a document on a mouse? I get a claw-finger. The big trackpad makes it more like scrolling on an iPad and much more ergonomic. I prefer a mouse for the rest though, so I keep both.

Onesies

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You get to work at home. You get to wear what the hell you want. So, please, choose something comfortable! I have this lovely bear(?) thing, a Wonder Woman one, and a Batman one. Standard. Added bonus: you get to scare the postman if you get a package.

As a side-note, my best friend Emma got us matching onesies for our birthday (we have the same birthday too, it’s all a bit weird) and we sort of lived in them for a while. And, well… this happened:

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Your own writing cave

Well this is a privilege but also sooper cool

A gazebo/writing shed/outside writing cave

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Coz sometimes (very rarely) it is sunny, and that saps productivity like a little giddy vampire. If you can move your work outside, it is great for morale and also for like… health, and stuff. Science

Conclusion

You don’t need ANY of this crap, but it sure is fun. I wrote my first novel-length manuscript on a 10” netbook *facepalm* and scribbled notes in work on paper I stole from the printer there. 90% of this whole writing business happens in your head. The rest is just about making you more productive and comfortable. And PRETTY – did I mention pretty?

Most of these photos are from my Instagram account. If you’d like to see my day-to-day idiocy, cute pet photos, and writerly things, it’s a great place to start.

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